Warnings
Warnings
Troughout www.on-hands.com you will find different warnings marked with this color; Whenever crossing a warning like this, be sure to read it carefully.
However I’ve come to that conclusion that people usually don’t read warnings – me included. Look below and you will find all the warnings on this site, so don’t be scared – I’m scared enough for all of you.
Warning (The Main Warning from the welcome page)
There has been reports – emails in particular – who states that people have laughed them self way to near death upon reading on this site. I will however NOT under ANY circumstances stop drinking chocolate milk of this reason – neither will I be responsible for the “near death” experience people might have, and certainly not pay the Psychiatrist bill that follows.
This is a secret Message for the FBI
Let me begin with a warning: (from the Article: Getting There)
Congratulations! This is a milestone in your handstand career – or whatever you’re using it for. But let one thing be clear, from this point and on, Gravity will HATE you.
Gravity will try to seduce you, slowly kill you, abuse you, snap you, burn you, kick you, hurt you, round kick you twice, eat you alive, push you down, knock you down, irritate you, drop you on the floor, fierce you, try to set you on fire, laugh at you, spit on you, scare you, torture you – generally be your nightmare. So whatever you do, pray to for Otters Sake that gravity forgets you while you are practicing your handstand – if not, I’m not the one to blame. You have now been warned. Twice.
Warning: (from the article: Walking on Hands)
Walking is the process of moving your feet up and down while moving forward, in order to get to a specific destination. We will not do that.Walking with hands is the process of moving your hands up and down while moving forward, in order to amaze unsuspecting people and in order to get to a specific destination. What I mentioned above, is exactly what we are going to do. And the risks of doing this is obvious, though I’ll just explain it to you: You can, and will, fall on your head. That’s why you don’t try walking on hands while your drunk, pregnant, under the influence love, masturbating, cycling, climbing, on drugs, being arrested, in the telephone, saved by a fireman, in a parachute jump, taking the dishes, driving, having sex, fighting with your girlfriend or anything that might inhibit you from focusing on your handstand – or else you will have a date with mother earth surrounded by gravity and the pain himself. I wish you the best of luck
The Warning: (from the article: Walking Down Stairs)
According to Wikipedia stairs is this: “Stairs are a construction designed to bridge a large vertical distance by dividing it into smaller vertical distances, called steps. Stairways may be straight, round, or may consist of two or more straight pieces connected at angles.” I tell you this as safety precaution, in case you didn’t know what a stair was. I assume that since you’re reading here, you will soon or later attempt to try to walk with your hands down stairs. Before attempting this, be sure to read the safety labels on your stairwell and leave the stove off.
Of course a Warning: (from the article: Walking Up Stairs)
The following message came from Stairs association:” As much as we like how our stairs helps in a everyday occasion, we cannot tolerate the constant “high five’ing” you’re doing to our stairs.” WikiStairs can confirm the following: “Stairs – specially European ones – are highly vulnerable. Do not, under any occasion, touch the steps in a stair consecutive one and after another. They will interpret this as an sexual abuse to their steps, and get very frustrated and angry. Sometimes even malicious.” Lucky for us stairs are slow, so this isn’t usually a problem. When walking, on our hands, down the stairs we’re to fast for it to recognize the “abuse”. However the problem starts when we have to move up, giving the stairs a chance to alarm gravity and his best friend pain. Which immediately will push you down, hitting that stair pretty hard.
Before you even think about reading this article
I should warn you with following: (from the article: Jump With Your Arms)
“Gravity is not a friend of yours while practicing Handstands – neither is your neighbor, but that’s a complete different story. Gravity will do anything to pull you back down on your feet, head, arms or whatever body part you least expect to get hurt. In fact Gravity – which isn’t a person, neither an animal, but something completely out of this world and well described in the book “Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy” – will do anything to harm you the most vicious way you have come to know. Of course this can all be in your head and the reality is that your body isn’t ready for the world upside down – and therefor your muscles will start complaining, sending loads of nerve signals, to your brain and make it temporary shut down which immediately will cause you to fall down on your feet, head, arms or whatever body part you least expect to get hurt.”
But first let me warn you: (From the article: The Levers)
There are certain articles out there that explains levers. Levers that you pull, levers on motorcycles, levers on doors, levers in secret chambers, security levers, brake levers, levers with different classes and levers with weight on – it’s even physics! Who would have thought of that. This article will not explain you any of the mentioned. Which reminds me that the title of this article should be; “Human Levers”. Oh well, another time – back to the world Up side Down
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